thisismadfreaky | entranceway IC Inbox

been better/worse too

it kind of sucks here

Yeah, it kinda does.

You look over that manual I left you?
I can help you go over it, if any of it was confusing.

oh

did u want me to read that?

Maya, how are you going to know how to use it otherwise?

[It was even mostly diagrams! COME ON!]

Do I need to give you demonstrations?

it was rly thick

& mayb i changed my mind about wanting 1

Girl, I've read books for fun that were thicker than that.

Yeah?
Wanna talk about it?

k so ur a nerd we knew that tho

not rly.

thought u didnt want me to have 1 anyway

Okay, yes, true statement.

I'm here if that changes, okay?

Yeah, well, with everything as crazy as it is around here sometimes, maybe it's not such a bad idea for you to have ways to protect yourself.

u got ways to make it so friends don't turn on us out of nowhere?

Not really in my capabilities.
Even if it was, this place would neutralize it in a second if it felt like it.

Can't control what other people do, Maya. Only how you react to it & deal with it.

so what happens when u have to deal with it? what do u do?

Well, I think you take a lot of things into account.
Like how important they are to you, and if you think what they did was intentional.
I think it's safe to add "were they really themselves?" to this checklist given Wonderland being everything that it is.

And you have to look at how they're reacting after it all
Is there any sign that they feel bad, or that they still care?

And how you feel? That's the biggest part, Maya. If somebody breaks your trust, you don't owe them anything, no matter how much they meant to you before. They can try to earn it back, but whether they can or do it, that's up to you to determine.

[He is definitely speaking from experience on this one. All of his complicated Harrison Wells feelings run from and center on this conversation.]

ok but

what if their faces r the problem

[That kind of guts him a little. It's both old and new wounds being pressed on at once and it's kind of a lot.]

That makes it a thousand times harder.
But it's not impossible to work past it.

I worked for a guy named Harrison Wells. He was pretty much the best boss I'd ever had.
And he kinda took me in, on the personal side, too. Like a son. Which was great, cuz my family kinda sucks.
As my boss, he gave me opportunities of a lifetime, I mean, I got to do some pretty amazing work straight out of college.
And as a friend, he was just always there whenever I needed him, whenever my parents were being dicks he'd even give me an out on family gatherings. It was kinda great.

Later on, I found out that everything was a lie. He wasn't who he said he was and he hurt a lot of people. He wanted to hurt my best friend and he was the reason that friend lost his mom when he was a kid, and why his dad was in prison for years.
He used me and lied to me and manipulated me because I was an easy target.
[He also killed him for knowing too much, but he doesn't think that particular trauma is going to help. And it also technically didn't happen, since Barry changed the timeline. He'll just edit that bit of the story a little.]
When I found out the truth, he hurt me to keep me from talking.

You know my world's kinda weird, right? And we kinda knew already that parallel worlds existed.
So, fast forward a little and... here's this guy, from another version of Earth, named Harrison Wells, who looks just like him. Sounds just like him. And he's asking for our help because his daughter was kidnapped by some psycho.
I didn't trust him at all, hated him on principle because how could I believe that anybody with that face could ever mean anything they said.
He was different, though. He wasn't overly nice, and he didn't try to play up getting on everybody's good side. He was kind of a dick, really. He needed our help to save his daughter and that's all we were to him, you know?
But he helped us, too. With the crazy crime that goes on in Central City. And...I dunno, I couldn't tell you exactly what happened or when it did but, through helping my team and us helping him, I dunno, eventually he kinda proved himself. And... we're friends now. Kind of. Most of the time.

It doesn't ever completely stop throwing things off-balance. Dealing with the face of somebody who hurt you.
Sometimes, you'll still still feel weird about it but it is possible to get past it, in time.

[There are a whole lot of words there. And even though Cisco takes his time to send each line in a bite-sized chunk, it's still a lot. But it seems like he's trying to relate to her, and today's not the day to dismiss that. She'll keep it vague, and hopefully she'll look like she's read more than she did.]

So you get where im coming from

Yeah, I get it a lot.
And it sucks.

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